Is your son or daughter a victim? Study: Half of high school students admit bullying in last year

Study: Half of high school students admit bullying in last year (Click here for full story)

This statistic is sad but doesn't surprise me. Many times when we think about self-defense we only think about the attacker in the street and we forget to think about our kids at school. I know this scene all to well and it is scary and has long-term negative affects on your child.

Growing up I was very small because of some medical issues that made me more weak and unable to participate in sports. I had an enlarged spleen that if hit or bumped too hard would cause internal bleeding that would have been the death of me in mins. Because I was smaller, weaker, and couldn't play sports I was the target of a lot of bullying. From games of taking my hat and coat in the winter to full on pounding by multiple assailants. I was probably like a lot of kids and never told my parents because what could they honestly do (at least that is what I thought at the time). So I suffered through it and took it year after year.

As I got older it did start to get bigger but I was behind in being good at sports and sported some large frame glasses didn't help my "coolness" factor.  I remember from very young age, because of my situation, I wanted to learn martial arts or karate or something so I wasn't taken advantage of any more. Unfortunately, my parents only saw the value of paying for music lessons and I never got any training to protect myself that I wanted. My bullying continued all the way from elementary to high school and its affects had longer term repercussions. Through all that bullying what I learned was how to continue to take abuse. I am certain this  was one of the major factors that drove me to cower to the demands of aggressive abuser (my first wife). Only after a week of dating I felt I was bullied into dropping out of college and then had to suffer through an emotional abusive marriage for the next six and half years! It wasn't until I empowered myself and then trained myself to stand against any threat did I get out of that damaging cycle and marriage and go on to lead a more healthy successful life. (Growing to 6'3'' and putting on 30lbs of muscle helped too but the training did more.)

Bullying has huge long term consequence other then the physical damages it can cause. If your child is being bullied and they don't know how to stop it, they are learning to become victims. They are learning that the aggressive have the power and they must just suffer through it or be subjected to it. The only way to change this is to teach them how to empower themselves. Self-defense is not just about keeping a bad guy from killing you if you were mugged. Self-defense is empowering yourself to appropriately handle a threatening situation no matter where and when it happens. It is training and preparing to handle even the most extreme situations effectively so you and your loved ones walk away safe. Self-defense certainly applies to stopping bullying.

If you child knows that if someone attacked them they would know what to do to handle the situation, they will have more self-esteem and be willing to do more. They will feel better about themselves knowing they do not have to be a victim of others. If they feel strong, empowered, and capable they are less likely to be targeted by bullies in the first place. Remember aggressors are most likely to target those that they feel like they can easily overpower. An empowered child carries themselves different and interacts with others much different then one that feels they cant or are incapable.

Training your child in self-defense does not dispose them to fight more or to feel like they can beat anyone up. Good self-defense training will teach your child discipline, hard work, setting goals and work towards those goals, as well as avoid a confrontation if you can. It will also teach them control and what kind of force to use for which situation. Though not all self-defense training is equal as far as its effectiveness in different situations (especially the extreme or lethal situations) almost all will give your child good foundation and if they stick with it, it should help them be able to handle most bullying situations.

Don't let you child become a lifetime victim. Find a good self-defense or martial arts school that supports your goals of helping and empowering them so that they feel like they could defend themselves if they needed to. Even if you don't think your child is being bullied realize that statistic shows that at least half of kids are. So don't be naive at your kids expense because must likely one of your kids is being bullied. Give them the skills to handle this and they will fear far less in their life later on. Give them the tools to empower themselves and they will have one of the keys of Ultimate Defense.

This is Scary!!! She is lucky he didn't want anything but jewelry!

This is such a scary situation! I am so glad that this robber only wanted jewelry or this story could have ended totally different. We go about our day to day lives not even realizing and not preparing for situations like this. There are people out there that sit all day learning your routine so they know when they can strike. This teen came out ok but if the robber had other intentions she would have become an ultimate victim.

What can you do to prepare:

• Vary your routine
• Never get in such a habit that someone can predict what you do. Mix it up. Go a different way. Come home early sometimes. Take a different day off. If they don't know what to expect they will be less likely to target you.
• Talk to your kids.
• This is real, this stuff happens. Elizabeth Smart is still dealing with the court case years later from being kidnapped out of her own bedroom. Talk to your kids about what to do if this happens. If this ever happened, the worst time for your child to think about what they should do in this kind of situation is when its happening. Aggressors will be more likely to run before they will turn and fight if there is likely they will be caught. Aggressors target those they think they can overpower. Teach your kids they don't need to be victims. Screaming and fighting back has more chances of keeping them safe then sitting there quiet with their back turned as they are attacked.
• Teach your kids that bad people lie and not to trust them. If they say they won't hurt you they most likely will. If they say keep quiet and they won't do anything, this is also a lie and they probably will. If they don't all the better but act as they will and benifit from the fortune if they don't. You can't trust someone who is in the act of causing harm. So teach your kids to not trust them. If they say don't scream they should be screaming. If they say don't fight they should be fighting for their lives. Aggressors target victims not other aggressors.
• Pay attention to your own house.
• Each night before you go to bed you should be checking doors and windows. Leaving porch lights on. The more difficult it is to target you the less likely it will happen. Also just because you are a sleep doesn't mean your house is safe. If you have had babies you trained yourself to hear them in the middle of the night if they wimpered a little. Don't lose that edge. You can sleep and still pay attention if you know you need to. You will sleep much better knowing you have a plan in place to respond if something ever did happen.
• Be ready to respond.
• If you are no more ready to respond then your kids to a threat or attack, then everyone in your house is a potential victim. You need to think and plan ahead. You need to ask yourself what would you do? Do you have a defensive plan in place to handle a threat? Are you ready to use it? Just getting a gun or a baseball bat is not a plan, its a risk for something worse to happen. If you don't know how to use that gun or bat and feel comfortable enough to use it without thinking, you will most likely be ineffective and even worse cause the attacker to escalate thier threat.

Think about it before, prepare and train, and be ready to respond. This is Ultimate Defense!

Three Count Chop Drill - Damian Ross, The Self Defense Company

ksl.com - Police looking for accused kidnapper in Clearfield

ksl.com - Police looking for accused kidnapper in Clearfield

Many times the threat is someone you know. More violence and attacks happen domestically then any other way. A threat to your safety is still a threat even if you know them. Be prepared and don't become another victim.

One Min Training - The Front Thrust Kick

If you had to? Could you? Would you be ready?

Your pulse is racing the threat is there and very real. You never thought this would really happen to you but here you are. You attacker is making his move and you can feel it to your core if you don't do something to end this now either you or your loved one will pay the ultimate price. As your attacker moves either he presents the opening, or with you past training you create the opening and in that split moment you have the chance to end the threat...but will you?

The major disadvantage that most people have in defending themselves and their family is the mental focus difference of the attacker and the defender. The attacker has already made a previous decision that they are willing and ready to use aggressive force but most defenders have not. Their life or the life of a loved one is on the line and the defender for the first time is having to make the decision if they will do whatever it takes to protect. This mental block or moment of decision making can mean life or death. Even if you have the opening, even if you have had tremendous training, or even carry a lethal weapon, it won't matter if you haven't already made the decision to do whatever it takes to act to end the threat. 

Ask yourself now if your life or the life a loved one was in danger what would you be willing to do to protect yourself or them? Would you be willing to fight a little, cause near death, or perhaps do whatever it takes including taking another life to save those innocent? If you did have to react and the only way to stop that threat was a lethal blow could you and would you do it? Could you live with yourself after if you did or if you did not?

These are all questions you have to firmly make now when you’re safe and out of dangers way because at any moment that may change. If it does the worst, time to contemplate if you are ready to act is when the moment is only a split second and the wrong decision means you life or the life of loved one. A defensive mind is resolved in the willingness to appropriately meet the threat with the right amount of response and not have to think about if you should do what it takes or not. If it is a mild threat, you are willing to meet it with a mild response. If it is a potentially lethal threat, you are willing to be the first to meet that threat with lethal force before it has the chance to do it first. Your Ultimate Defense Training starts with a resolved defensive mind that is willing and able to meet whatever level of threat you face with the equal level of defensive force. Are you willing and are you ready?

A simple disarm that will rock their world!

Shot gun shell shooting hand gun? Now thats home defense!

Taekwondo Will Get You Killed

My self-defense training began many years ago in college. To fulfill my physical fitness requirement I thought it would be cool to take Taekwondo (TKD). I learned all the needed Kata and canned defenses and by the end of the semester was promoted to a yellow belt. We did spar a few times with full gear following all the required TKD sparing rules. Having no other expirence with martial fighting I thought it was very cool and bought hook line and sinker into my Sensei's  stories about how TKD was the best self-defense system out there. Fast forward 12 years and having trained with some incredible fighters in multiple fighting and self-defense arts NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH. Taekwondo will get you killed!


TKD is known for it flashing flying kicks and numerous schools on every corner. These schools kick out 1000's of "black belts" a year that if ever were in a fight with anyone who has ever fought before they would be killed. TKD has minimal if any defenses or training to handle real world threats like knives, clubs, and guns.  Anyone who has ever fought in the real world would stand out of the way of the flashy kicks and drop them in an instant when they were off center. Not one of those TKD "black belts" (unless they trained in other more effective fighting styles) would know what to do if some one attacked them with continuous attacks especially if those attacks were none sports targets such as groin, spine, back of the head, or throat. If you want to learn TKD for physical fitness or because you want to look cool flying through the air ok but please do expect to use any of that in a real world fight. If you have your little "Johnny" or "Suzy" locked into an expensive school contracts in hopes that they will be able to defend themselves. Please know that they will be grossly unprepared and worse most like like try something because they felt they were trained and most likely escalate the fight to a level that could be lethal because the aggressor will want to show up the "karate kid."

TKD training is good if you wanting martial arts tournament rules fight training but other than that if you tried to pull off half of what you would learn on a real threat you would most likely end up dead. Do TKD for fun, for sport, for discipline, but please don't use any of that for self-defense. Train for fun and then train something else for real life or just get really good at drawing and firing a gun. TKD is not self-defense it is a sport fighting technique if used in real life will get you killed!

Rajah II - Folding Knife : Cold Steel Knives, This knife rocks check it out!